Final Evaluation

Evaluation

I chose to create a 10-page screenplay and accompanying digital storyboard for a key scene from the screenplay for the practical piece of the course. I used both the short films we have studied in class as well as other films and resources as inspiration.

My aims with the screenplay were to use established narrative theories and proper screenwriting conventions which would help to structure a story featuring characters that would explore the themes of anxiety, identity and mental health. With my screenplay I wanted to represent Olivia as a likeable and relatable character who has agency within the narrative and to portray her character development believably. The effect I wanted to have on my audience was to make them empathize with Olivia and understand and feel her anxiety in certain scenes.

My two major inspirations for the story of my screenplay came from Lewis Arnold’s ‘Echo’ and Nick Rowland’s ‘Slap’ because as they were the two longest films that we looked at in class their screenplays were more comparable in length to my own. They were also two of my favourite short films out of the ones we looked at in class as due to their longer durations they were able to focus more time on exploring the main characters, however they were both also missing defined character arcs and clear narrative resolution which is something I really wanted to do in my own film.

I chose the genre of coming-of-age for my screenplay and storyboard as it is a genre to which some of my favourite films belong such as Richard Linklater’s ‘Boyhood’ and Greta Gerwig’s ‘Lady Bird’ and is one I can currently relate to quite strongly as a teenager. Both ‘Echo’ and ‘Slap’ could be considered coming-of-age films as they both feature young adult protagonists and involve some of the same themes which I wanted to explore in my own screenplay and storyboard.

To create the screenplay, I used the narrative structure of Dan Harmon’s story circle which is similar to Joseph Campbell’s hero’s journey and Todorov’s narrative theory which all follow the same core elements. The first stage of Dan Harmon’s story circle involves a character being in a zone of comfort which in my screenplay would be Olivia in the familiar environment of her college. The second stage introduces the character’s desire which drives the plot forward, in my screenplay this is Olivia’s desire for a job. The third and fourth stages involves the character entering an unfamiliar situation and then subsequently adapting to it which correlates to Olivia entering the search for a job for the first time and then learning how to write a CV and fill out a job application. The fifth and sixth stages comprise the character getting what they wanted and then having to pay a price for it respectively which is shown by Olivia getting a response from the job she wanted but having to do a telephone interview for it which leads her to directly confront her anxiety. The seventh and eighth stages involve the character returning to their familiar situation having changed which is shown by Olivia returning to her regular life and routine now with a job, having overcome her anxiety.

I think that I was successful in achieving the aims and intentions I had for my screenplay including creating a defined character arc for the protagonist, Olivia and giving clear narrative resolution as the character of Olivia changes throughout the story, growing to be a more confident person and by the end of the screenplay her internal conflict has been dissolved, she is successful in achieving her objective and has overcome her anxiety. Olivia also does have agency within the narrative as shown by how her decisions drive the plot forward. I also think that I was successful in achieving my aims for the screenplay as people who have read it commented that they could understand and empathize with the motivations and anxieties of Olivia’s character. One thing I would change if I was to restart the screenplay would be to reduce the frequency and length of dialogue heavy scenes so as to try and tell more of the story visually using more action lines with greater detail so that the story shows instead of telling in the way a film like Jörn Threlfall’s ‘Over’ does so effectively.

My aims with my digital storyboard were to use cinematography and mise-en-scene as well as to comment on how sound and editing would be utilised to effectively build tension and align the viewer with Olivia and to portray her anxiety and character development as well as her thought process believably with a compelling use of micro elements. I also intended to use micro elements to build upon the narrative of the screenplay and add more depth to the story that can only be done visually.

For the establishing shot in frame 1 I aimed to draw the viewer’s attention towards the action. I took inspiration from Daniel Montarini’s ‘The Arrival’ which keeps the main character and all the action in the centre of the frame keeping the viewer’s attention focused there, I decided to implement this technique by keeping Olivia and the bench in the centre of frame throughout most of these shots which I think worked well as when you look at the frames your attention is drawn towards her. There would be a lack of non-diegetic sound throughout this key scene which like in ‘Over’ would build tension and keep the focus of the viewer on the action going on in frame.

Frames 5 and 14 which depict Olivia tapping her feet and her hands shaking respectively utilise close up shots to demonstrate Olivia’s anxiousness. This is influenced by Destiny Ekaragha’s ‘Tight Jeans’ and it’s use of close up shots of the feet and hands of the free main characters to introduce them by giving the viewer information about them and displaying the boredom of the characters. I think that this effect worked well and demonstrates the anxiety Olivia is feeling effectively.

 My aim with this shot was to use performance to convey the inner conflict of Olivia’s character as she decides whether to leave or to take the call, so I told the actress to emphasise the distress in her performance. The medium close up shot allows the viewer to see the performance of the actress playing Olivia and the surrounding environment which has already been established as a calm and soothing place for the character.

 

Frame 18 uses shallow focus to draw the viewer’s attention to the phone which is also centred in the frame and rises the action through showing the incoming call from the interviewer. Olivia is reflected in the screen of the phone similar to the mirror shots in ‘Slap’ which are used to represent the internal struggle with identity as well as self-reflection in moments of emotional turmoil.

In frame 19 the shot uses a tilted angle which is something I took inspiration for from Olly William’s ‘The Fly’ which uses a tilted angle shot at the end of the film focusing on the main character to accentuate the tension of the situation. With this shot however I decided to take the effect further by using a more severe angle and I think it is effective for what I was trying to achieve.

 

In frame 20 I used an extreme close up shot of Olivia’s face which is similar to the extreme close up shots used in ‘Echo’ to focus on the distress on Caroline’s face and display the performance of the actress. The performance in this frame was important so I directed the actress to look nervous and distressed in order to convey the internal struggle of Olivia’s character which I think was successful.

 

If I was starting the digital storyboard over again then I would have tried to include a larger variety of shot types as the storyboard suffers from repetition with multiple close up and medium close up shots. After showing the digital storyboard to a few people who had not read the screenplay it became apparent that without the context of the screenplay it was not easy to infer exactly what was happening from the shots alone, however the action lines in the margin of the storyboard did explain this. So, in retrospect I would have tried to include more shots in the storyboard that convey the action of the scene more clearly to the viewer. I also believe that the geography of the storyboard could be improved as from shot to shot the position of Olivia changes which I did in order to maintain the lighting I wanted for each frame. I also think I could of done more to subvert the narrative conventions of the coming-of-age genre like the short film that I wached, Beth Fletcher’s ‘Come Be Creepy With Us’ did by establishing narrative conventions early on in the film only to subvert them and hence the viewers expectations.

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